RUNNING FOR THE RECORD

Something besides tea is brewing over in Merrie Olde England. Somewhere in the rainy Midlands (I think--it's outside of London, anyway, which is the only part of England I have any familiarity with), one of my good friends has just begun a run at the world's record for continuous tattooing.

Lady Kaz Wilson of Diamond Tattoos has been a friend of mine for many years. How she got the idea to go tilting at Guinness, I don't know. We communicate by email these days, and usually pretty short emails at that. The why of the thing was never covered in any conversations. Why not, would be as good a question, I guess.

Kaz has an overflow of personal magnetism, and is one of the coolest gals I ever met. She has a deep sense of humor--which her being English and me being American our ideas of a joke are not always the same, but often enough are. She is also, hands down, the toughest gal I ever met--when the situation calls for it. She doesn't prowl around like some eternal bad ass, like one of these alleged tough broads you sometimes see. But rest assured, when push comes to shove and shove turns to swinging, she'll be there, armed one way or another and holding her ground.

Here's a typical Kaz story. Back in the long lost days of the Dunstable convention, she and I were bouncing around the place looking for nothing in particular and enjoying the show. Barside, we found his honor, Lyle Tuttle. I introduced the two and they hit it off.

Understand, now, at that time, and maybe still, Lyle limits his tattooing to putting his signature on people, and he doesn't do very many of them. There are people around who have been hounding Lyle for eons to get theirs. The man from Frisco can be slick as an eel in avoiding actually sitting down to tattoo. He's tight with the ink.

Within a couple drinks of Lyle meeting Kaz, though, they had comandeered some equipment and were sitting down for her to get a Lyle Tuttle signature. I got mine a few minutes after hers. I rode her coattails into the deal, there's no denying it.

Years have gone by since then, many of them. And here we are now, with Kaz gunning for a world's record of marathon inkslinging. She has a victim who I guess is going to take most of the work, a fella named XXXXXXXXXXXXXX.

Once upon a time Kaz gave me some used up machine frames to try and rebuild. I never got started because they were so pathetic, thin cheeseball bent steel, nicely chromed to be sure they held heat. Chrome plating holds heat in. Looks good, stinks when you're trying to dissipate heat. And no soul. That was the capper with them, no soul. Machines have soul, believe it, and tattoo machines especially. Except these little piggies had none. I know she's upgraded since then, but she was still worried about her machines burning out before she did. Seems to me like you'd want as much equipment on hand as possible for a thing like this. If it were me I'd want at least three power supplies, a dozen cords and foot switches and forty zillion cords and needles and whatever else. Plus machines and rebuild equipment--springs, coils, screws, contact screws and needle bars.

You can bet your sweet ass that Mr. Murphy and his famous Law will be in full effect. It's always out there on the periphery, in everything we do, but it seems to multiply in intensity in situations like this. If you don't know Murphy's Law or you've been under a rock for a century or so, it states basically that anything that can go wrong will, and at the worst possible moment. Sounds like a curse. Whether it's a curse, a prediction or a rule of natural law, the cure is always, always, preparation.

Simple as that. If you're racing, make sure your parts inventory is deeper than you think you'll need. If you're fishing, bring more lures than you'll need. If you're tattooing, well ...

I hooked Kaz up with Rich T at Bicknee Supply, who mailed her at least one machine to keep her buzzing.

And with that, I get offstage. You can follow the record attempt as it happens on Facebook by joining the Diamond Tattoos club, which will show you photos as they happen. And watch ITA for exclusive coverage.

Chris Pfouts
Editor